Megoland

UGH!!!!!
Brian posted these lyrics on myspace last night, so I caled him and left him a message asking him to PLEASE take it down. I didn't want eveyone to know all this shit. Anyways, he myspaced me when he woke up and we've been messaging all day. After the song I posted the shit we've said to each other.

In Love With The Wind
Current mood: blustery

When your in love with the wind

You just see how it spins

Ah hah hah

When your in love with the wind

You get swept right on in

Ah hah hah

Like a rock on the sand

You aint got no plans

Ah hah hah

Affects those around you

This aint no profound news

Slips right through your fingers

Don't let your heart linger

Set your self up for hurt

Might as well be black soot

We cant keep on goin

Like this keep on showin

Me your true wind flowin

My heart is just blowin

In the wind

Don't know what I want

Just show what you flaunt

Cuz that's all that I need

It's My own god damn greed

Ah hah hah

It is your own fault

Oh It is my own guilt

Oh cant we just be friends

In the wind

Cant we just be friends

Oh cant we just be friends

In the wind

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Brian
Date: Sep 28, 2008 1:36 PM

Im sorry I have not called you back today, I have to write the rest of that speech, and meet with my group at 5pm tonight, then be at work by 10. If we get done early, I'll try my best to call you. Oh, I took the lyrics off, though it was not really about our relationship. It was more about the emptiness of the party life, and those people's relationships. Sorry it made you upset, that was not my intention.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Megan
Date: Sep 28, 2008 3:58 PM

whatever. don't bother calling me. I don't want to talk to you. besides, i don't fucking care anymore. just leave me alone.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Brian
Date: Sep 28, 2008 4:46 PM

Jesus fucking christ. You just left me a message saying call you. Im always trying to not be mean, and to be a good person about all this confusing stuff, but no matter what I do, Im wrong. I felt terrible all last night because of your stupid call. What the hell did you want to accomplish from it? All I can think of is you wanted me to feel shitty. Well mission accomplished. I just hope someday we can get past all this bullshit, and be able to hang out and talk again. I guess I just dont see that happening for a while... Try not to call me and tell me Im aweful any more, I cant take it.

The message said, "if you're still awake, call me" I just wanted to ask you to take that poem off. That's it. You've made it clear that we cannot talk or be friends probably ever, so fuck it. Why the fuck would I want to talk to someone like that. You're so fucking caught up with being the victim that you can't even see anything. I did NOT call you last night just to "make you feel like shit". In fact, I didn't even think I COULD make you feel like shit. I called you to make you fully aware of all of the drama that you, your lack of communication/balls and your party had caused. Fuck, how do you think I felt last night?!!! I feel bad that I caused a scene at your party, but it's not like you tried or have ever tried to make any of this any less complicated or hurtful. You fucking just act like you're the victim when you're not!! Neither one of us are. You act like you're trying so fucking hard to "do the right thing" but that's fucking bullshit. The only thing you're trying to do right now is not deal and not hurt. Well, you've got the not dealing shit down pat and because of your perfection at not dealing we have now brought all of our friends into all of our shit. The truth of the matter is and has always been that your fucking too scared and too lazy to put the work in to make any of this shit less messy or less painful for both of us. Also, if you think for one second that you're the only one that "can't take it" anymore you're wrong. Last night was fucking hell for me. When I finally did pick myself up enough to go home I came home to your fucking song talking about how I'm slipping right through your fingers and You don't want to let your heart linger. Every time I turn around you find a new way to hurt me and I'm sorry if I'm not dealing with that well, but I shouldn't fucking have to!! You promised me that things wouldn't be like this. Our friendship is the only thing strong enough to get us through this shit in one piece and you won't even let us be friends any more. I don't think you have any idea how painful it is that you don't even want to talk to me anymore. But fuck it!! I'm through with begging you to put the effort in. It's not worth it anymore. It's time I cleansed my life of people that hurt me. So, that's why I say just leave me alone. I can't take this shit either. If you can't realize that the only reason we're fighting so much is because you aren't letting us be friends and talk through all this shit than you don't deserve a friend like me. I just can't believe you're acting like the victim here. If you were really so upset about everything that's going on and the fact that we're not friends anymore than 1. you would call me so we can talk things through instead of being a coward and doing this through myspace for christs sake and 2. then we would be friends. If you wanted to be my friend than we would be. Simple as that. I'm tired of fighting with you through myspace and text messages. If you have something to say to me or if you're angry about something I did than have the fucking balls to call me. Also, if you're curious about what's going on in my life than call me because my friends are no longer going to leak information to your friends. I'll make sure of that. Other than that I have nothing else to say to you through myspace. This is not the way I want to get all of our shit out on the table.

Current Mood: enraged

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